And the potted plant theory, I cant credit it to someone, Im sorry, I dont know who put it out there, but the idea is that if you were to have a plant in your kitchen, you might not be aware of it at all, and then if someone were to remove it, youd say What happened to that plant?. Those ordinary consonants and vowels that, when strung together, offer meaning and points of entry for others. Just get in the mix, get in the line of fire. Kelly reads everything from eulogies to retirement speeches and on February 19th, she . Im Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. Kilpy This is me writing a letter to Liz, and I wrote the whole thing, and I cried my eyes out the whole time I was writing it, and wiping my nose, and blowing my nose, and sitting back down, and Edwards like, You all right? And Im like, Im all right. So, I grew up with this sentence with my fathers voice in my head saying, Allah Kareem, God is generous., Cheryl:Our family motto is, Dont eat a hamster. Kate Bowler:I dont think Ill like it, but I will think of you when I do it. This interview is perfection. Okay, great. At a time when so much feels unex Kate Bowler:You and I are super chatty people, but you make an amazing pitch for silence, and I am all for it, because everyone always had these go-to things to say with me like, You can do it, or Youre so brave, and all the things that made me feel like I was on the other side of plexiglass. You talk about not having good language for your current state. I went to see her one time. I mean, Im totally coming to see you. On Sundays, Kelly records a special podcast called, "Thanks for Being Here" where she reads the toasts and tributes that listeners have submitted about those they love. Yeah. Mary Hope wrote this thoughtful, open-hearted letter to her community to introduce her son Alex - who had previously been known to all as Jenna, her daughter. That sounds really right to me. Kelly Corrigan:Theres a thing Im aware of about eye contact between spouses, and you either make it, or you dont, and once youre aware that thats deeply meaningful, and that it has this kind of almost immeasurable, physiological effect on the other person, then you make an effort to look them in the eye, and that seems like such a small thing, but its actually definitional in terms of your relationship, in terms of whether its a good day, or a bad day, or a good interaction, or a bad interaction. So, God is generous was my dads way of promising us a better future. Kelly Corrigan:I didnt die. Even the words left unsaid. Kate Bowler:Today, I get a chance to talk to Kelly about some of her very best phrases. She died this morning, and I was just sick to my stomach. The space between doubt and belief is often unpopular, but the tension can be held. Constance Wu also thanks a past educator of hers, Mr. Frizzle. Kelly Corrigan:So, I say at the end of this chapter, Shouldnt loss change a person for the better? I go, Oh, thank you for that bit of suggestion.. Like, Im just an ordinary person, and I make all the mistakes that everybody else makes and maybe even 10% more, and then there she was, and what she would have done for the life that I was kind of rushing through, multitasking my way through day, after day, and you know, sort of feeling snappish, and then catching myself, and feeling like I should be different. I didnt make her final days one bit better, and I lived there for two years. I think people think that if you have a diagnosis, or somethings happened to you that you should know because youre proof of it. I was wrong. We had several hamsters in one cage, and they can be cannibalistic, and one morning a hamster was missing, and another hamster had a suspiciously large tummy. Kelly Corrigan:And it wasnt my turn for his attention. Maybe I dont have to be good, but I can try to be least a little better then Ive been so far., Riham:Our family motto is Allah Kareem. Tomorrow, March 28, 2023 would have been his 40th birthday. Kelly Corrigan:Im telling you what, man, you can not believe how much I use this, and you can not believe how still it is not my natural instinct. I just want to show up and try to be of use. Then cancer hit. You wrote about the end of words. I think part of why your book is so moving is the way that these sayings crystallize these really big truths about who we are, and also how we should love each other. Maybe you want to borrow one of Kellys like, Its like this, but youre totally welcome to borrow my familys motto: Dont let the turkeys get you down. Its tried and true. Kate Bowler:Wow, and thats a big word. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Hosted by Tom Scharpling and featuring celebrity guests, music, callers, and plenty of surprises, The Best Show streams live every Tuesday night on Twitch at 6pm PT and is available on your podcast apps the next day. So, God is generous was my dads way of promising us a better future. When bestselling author Kelly Corrigan experienced the death of her dad and dear friend back-to-back, she couldnt shake the feeling that she wasnt living as gratefully as she wanted to. Michael Murray on the Social Science of Faith Kelly Corrigan Wonders. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. This is an amazing story. And Ive talked to a couple of my girlfriends whove gotten divorced, and they say the exact same thing happens to them. Kelly Corrigan:And he said, Thats a way to be a parent, which is to say to be there, to be available, to be within view, but not necessarily inserting yourself, because even though as your kids get older and older, it feels like theyre looking for you less and less, it is sort of a comfort to glance over, and see you there, and feel you there, and they would most certainly notice if you werent. Kate Bowler:Todays episode is brought to you by our partners, North Carolina Public Radio WUNC, the Lilly Endowment, The Issachar Fund, The John Templeton Foundation, Faith and Leadership: An Online Learning Resource, and Duke Divinity School, and of course, Beverly Abel, Jessica Richie, and Be the Change Revolutions. Each episode ends with a special Plus One segment, in which guests are invited to thank those that have supported them along their journey. Follow Kelly on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Kilpy I think earn is such a good word, because youre talking about such a complicated math. I even use it at the end of lectures like, Hey, this is the end of the 19th century. The idea that any day could be this huge day, I dont know, that really gets me out of bed, you know? Kate Bowler:Todays episode is brought to you by our partners, North Carolina Public Radio WUNC, the Lilly Endowment, The Issachar Fund, The John Templeton Foundation, Faith and Leadership: An Online Learning Resource, and Duke Divinity School, and of course, Beverly Abel, Jessica Richie, and Be the Change Revolutions. So, I was wondering, would you mind reading that beautiful passage you wrote about after Liz died? 295 Episodes Produced by Kelly Corrigan Website. Yeah. I went into this tiny bathroom in Baltimore in our office building, and just cried my eyes out, and it wasnt even because she died. So, I think things happen when you leave the house. One is called Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. Were just a series of days and interactions. I was wrong not to go visit her. This episode was wonderful, wasnt it? Kate Bowler:Well, the one that we sort of settled on most was, Dont let the turkeys get you down, cause we were all deeply unpopular children, but it did make me think about mottos, and how it sort of defines the season that we live in. I think we make life a little more interesting! Mom, we cant sell family, right? I looked at this sweet-natured adorable little puppy and acquiesced. Alex, Kelly Corrigan:And I should not lose my mind over a shirt I bought on final sale section that didnt fit even though I tried to pull it over myself, and then it got stuck on me, and I had to cut it off with scissors. Shes not going to hold their babies.. Kelly Corrigan:One that Ive always liked is, Things happen when you leave the house. I think I like the sense of theres something out there that you can tap into. You are everywhere they are., Kelly Corrigan:I really believe that, even though Im skeptical, and Im mad at people who say, Her spirits still here, and stuff. What do we do when the labels were given arent necessarily the ones we choose for ourselves? Kelly Corrigan:Well, chop-chop kid. I guess everybody here, these children of mine and my husband, are just too damn busy to get on this, but Im not, so Ill do it, and then I was finishing, and I found a little pile of cut toenails on my kitchen table, and that. Kate Bowler:Thanks so much for doing this. Its so that they can identify some critical difference between you and them that makes them feel like they can exhale again. Its like this now seems like a helpful way to process changethanks for offering that up . Team Everything Happens. They reel and wander and fixate and roll back and reconsider, because its like this, having a mind. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Kelly Corrigan:So, I had to wait, and then finally we had a window, and I said, I was wrong. We should hold hands for a moment, as a way of marking the glory of a family dinner, and they do that. I think earn is such a good word, because youre talking about such a complicated math. Phrases like I dont know, I was wrong, and one of my favorites, Its like this. We have a lot to learn from you. So, maybe when life is chronic, we all need some sayings to anchor us, our very own mottos that guide us through. Click here for discussion questions for this podcast episode. All moments, days, chapters are transitory and the good ones leave us as do the bad ones. We are so glad that you joined us for this conversation and found it enjoyable. I mean so far, knock on wood, Im getting to see my kids be much, much older than she got to see her kids be. Touching on themes like self-belief, resilience, humility, and justice, this series normalizes the human condition and emphasizes our capacity to grow. I dont have the genetic predisposition. Kindly, As many of our listeners know, Kelly has a dear cousin, Kathy, who turns up, one way or another, in all of Kelly's books. Describing the middle school drama teacher as the first person who believed in her, she imparts her gratitude for him coming to her defense as a young student. For awhile, Id say shed been robbed, or ripped off. Together, Kate and Kelly explore the phrases we cling to in order to find deeper connection and meaning during difficult times. He shares what draws him to people, how he writes them into stories and how openness and vulnerability are key elements to finding a strong character. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Its a sin, its hell. Youre giving these beautiful phrases, and each of them feels like a kind of roadmap, and you start with one that really resonated deeply with me. It offers so much grace to us all who are struggling to do better and be better. Kelly Corrigan:So, this was about all of these people calling me to say, I heard your friend died. I was in a big, big rush to get in front of him, and say my apology, and be returned to a state of grace, but the fact is that his mom died. Kelly Corrigan:Like, Oh, well we still have sex, so were definitely not going to get a divorce, or you know, Oh my husband doesnt travel, so then were definitely not gonna get a divorce, or you know, I never smoked cigarettes, so Im definitely not going to get breast cancer. For our weekly dose of wonder, NPR learns about glorious sounds chicken make at a very important moment in their . Perhaps weve got to choose which we want to continue and which we want to challenge. Kelly shares a graduation speech, a conversation about takeaways from high school with her daughter and a special reading with Oscar winning actress Helen Hunt. Kate Bowler:So, todays conversation is about developing language to move us forward when life is well, chronic. Were just a series of days and interactions. Its remarkable to hear a bit of your story and Im really grateful that youve shared it with us. I didnt engage with her. Make the magic happen. Kate Bowler:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Its completely random. Its the only way to keep the last bit of sanity. By creating an account, you acknowledge that PBS may share your information with our member stations and our respective service providers, and that you have read and understand the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. Maybe I dont have to be good, but I can try to be least a little better then Ive been so far., Riham:Our family motto is Allah Kareem. Kate Bowler:Oh friend. Mahra:Ive been singing these lines from a song by the Avett Brothers to my kids for years, and it goes like this. After the potency of the crime metaphor wore off, I turned to the vocabulary of religion. Shes not going to their wedding, shes not going to pick out wedding dresses with them. The Best Show with Tom Scharpling. I go, Oh, thank you for that bit of suggestion.. It was the very last thing that I wrote, and you may be able to relate to this, theres always one part of a book that writes itself, at least for me, where its like, I guess Ive been thinking about this long enough, I guess Ive been living this long enough that its all kind of been subconsciously forming, and now Im just about taking dictation here, and thats the way that was. Kate Bowler:Wow, and thats a big word. Make the magic happen. -Kilpy But I asked the doctor what the right term for me might be, and he said Survivor-in-progress, which was super annoying. Its the only way to keep the last bit of sanity. I didnt make her final days one bit better, and I lived there for two years. In other words, it could happen to you tomorrow.. I think we should be talking about five percent of the time. Kate Bowler:I need to hear what your motto is. I mean, I remember thinking, when I wasnt sure, when I was in an especially tough moment of illness, every time I would look at Zachs nails I would think, Is this what wouldve happened if I hadnt been here to do this? Kelly Corrigan:And then she died, and my dad called, and my dad had nothing but positive things to say to me my entire life, and he said, You should have gone to see your grandmother more. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. But the fact is if I said, Tell me more, go on, what else, youd say the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing, and it would be like the thing behind the thing, behind the thing is where really the pain is, and if I had waited way longer, I wouldve been able to say, Oh, I understand.. I didnt do it. Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. The idea that we just sort of wander around, consume things until we die, like were just a series of small appetites without any deep, rich, meaningful, satisfying connection. This forgetting, this slide into smallness, this irritability in shame, this disorienting grief Its like this. So, I grew up with this sentence with my fathers voice in my head saying, Allah Kareem, God is generous., Cheryl:Our family motto is, Dont eat a hamster. Im so grateful to hear the ways youre connecting with Kate and Kelly. Team Everything Happens, Kate, That sounds really right to me. A witty, insightful podcast in search of the big "Yes!" The gap between being inspired and entertained just got smaller. Go get mixed up in something. I love your book and your honesty as I keep questioning everything. Its going to be great. Just see who you can bump into out there. Kelly Corrigan:So, my dad died in February, and then my friend Liz, whos the mother of three kids, 8, 10, and 12 at the time, died that December. Kilpy I was so mad that I shook the cage a bit, that hamster eating its sibling. Hosted by four-time New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan, the show dives deep into each guest's life to pull out poignant lessons they hope others can use to find their own calling. Kelly kicks off a new series on BELIEF, delving into topics like the meaning of life, finding purpose, why faith, service and gratitude matter, and more with Dr. MIchael Murray, former Philosophy Professor and current President & CEO of the Arthur Vining Davis Foundations .

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