He goes to college and comes home. Im struggling and I can't sleep well at night. If she heartlessly uses your sons emotions to make him agree to her terms. The other day I ran into the mother of my middle son's former girlfriend. Other obvious signs that should prompt you to take action on this matter are: Also, parents need to understand why their sons commit to any manipulative relationship before taking any action. Plus she nevers smiles. That bugs me toooooo death !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1. I have been asking my son long before this day if he has girlfriend or if he likes someone so I would meet her to know more about her. Good luck. They began dating when she was 16 and he 17. Sometimes, a young kid/man chooses only to see the good parts of a girl, totally ignoring the obvious red flags for a variety of reasons. Any advice for us.his siblings miss him terribly, and so do his father and I! I am new to mumsnet, and I'm not actually a woman, hope this isn't an issue. A parent lets go of her child at several stages of development, allowing the child to grow up and eventually become independent. Enough is enough take the shit that you came which is nothing and leave. You know your teenage son better than anyone, and the thought of someone coming in and stealing his heart is simply no bueno. 210K views, 25K likes, 8.6K loves, 132K comments, 25K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Zion Prayer Movement Outreach: NIGHT OF OPEN HEAVEN (22ND APRIL,. I even cook or order pizza for them when they like to watch movies or karaoke. Asks them questions about how they feel about their situation. When a son introduces a new female into his world, mothers instinctually take caution, and fears and questions arise. My ex-husband and I have both assisted my son during the custody battle with financial matters. we will never accept her we just don't know what to do. Love your son without forcing ultimatums. We asked to meet him last weekend, we travelled a long way to visit him but he text and told us he was busy with her and her son. My son recently obtained custody of his 3 year old son after a 2 year custody battle. But if they do it after getting in a relationship, you should consider some stringent friendly actions that will limit their interactions with their new partner. 2. Help! When is your birthday? A year ago he started dating this girl, at first I really liked her, she tried to be a mediator between my son and I and she was helpful and always got him home when I wanted him home That didn't last long. Try to treat him like the independent young man he has become. Help, we don't like our son's girlfriend! - Today Cus he loves her duhhh!! WOW! She's four years older than me. What would you suggest at this point? fintech startups internship; did jimi hendrix play at harlem cultural festival 1969? Please give me an advise. I had spent a lot of money moving from state to start and paid the first year rent all by myself -he refused. Three months to a 16-year-old sounds like eternity, and a broken girl like her will seek out another fixer. While I still stand behind my suggestions in the article, there are times when you have to make a choice between risking a relationship with your son or having to standby helplessly to watch him suffer. People tell that hate is a strong word but there is no other way to describe how. 2,799. Where is this leading him? Our grown children won't want to be around us if we're always offering our unsolicited opinions or judgments! You don't have to start planning the wedding or be overly indulgent and supportive of the relationship but just warm, friendly and loving. He hasn't married her yet. son's girlfriend doesn 't like his family The important matter to focus on is that you aren't an underage child or young adult and you don't need your mother's approval for this relationship. Son's relationship with needy woman causes concern - Detroit Free Press Also her parents love him, who wouldn't he is a great person, and are now starting to manipulate him too by giving him an allowance travel card. Then he showers and leaves. Whatever you do and say, do and say it with all the love you can muster from being his parents. I apologize for not checking in to respond to these comments (deaths in family and other medical issues). Her hurt will only add to the mess. Visit them alone sometimes. Everyone is worth rescuing. Now we just ask we know where he is since he lives with us still. But he was not street smart before meeting this woman. I'll love you no matter what." The hard part is hoping your son will wake up before making any lifelong commitment to this girl. ", "Your life, your choice, son. Remember that he is an adult and just because you're his mother doesn't mean you can tell him what to do anymore. Never says hello, thank you, etc. Well, the son texts her and says can you believe my mom thought the lunch was about you being pregnant. He'll be 38, ten years younger than I am now. The key to this situation progressing is your girlfriend. Not looking for serious work as she supports him with his dealing. I feel about it! :). If they are meant to be together, there is nothing you can do about it. I don't want to talk to my son. Your continuing negativity will force your son to decide between you and her. Address: 20 - 22 Wenlock Road, London, N1 7GU I guess what i am trying to tell you is don't do what i did and TELL him all the red flags you see. Because it seems odd that you don't mind if she calls your father a motherf*##* or yells at me. How would you feel if your own son's girlfriend called you names? In fact, if you have been too controlling throughout his upbringing, expect that this will be a time for him to establish his own independence. This girl would drive to our house every weekend (15 hours) to spend 1 1/2-2 days with my son. About 11:45 that evening , there is a knock at the door and girlfirend is standing there crying histerically with her mother. In-love with love notwith you. If I were you, I would be humble enough to apologize to my son. He is an adult and doesn't seem to be concerned about her sitting around smoking all day, not cleaning up or contributing to the bills. The rebel. If she is trying to distance him from you or his family. Now mind you this girl is wayy better looking than your . u don't have a job, u shouldn't pay for ur friend's food! If he is okay with that, then that's fine but he needs to provide that roof over her head. Contact: 0208 296 9620 I feel for you because sometimes it isn't our fault at all but what is going on in their own heads. She may even be jealous of your guy friends. My girlfriend does not live with me either as she is studying at a distant college. My son is blinded (21) and doesn't see the red flags all of our family members have seen in his life since he has met this girl and her parents. For the first 8 months we got along very well. But they're in love and insist that age is just a number. You have had decades with him while she has had only a year or so. My son is 16 and his girlfriend is 17. He doesn't have to meet your approval or work against it. Tell him to reflect on his relationship to see if it has had positive effects on him as far as his health habits and educational/future opportunities. When You Don't Like Your Son's Girlfriend | Mom.com It's that she's so bloody rude! She smokes like a chimney. Keep in mind that my son and I were close. Reach out and make the effort. I also would remind him that parents are the only sure relationship that would never end. 65 Likes, TikTok video from Ryan The Lion (@ryantrout1): "Me when my girlfriend doesn't want to hang out with me". Non-critical. They are OPPORTUNISTS. Be open to his girlfriend. It's hard not to mother our children, even if only in tone of voice and energy. Another essential step you should consider is scheduling consistent family time. Would he want his son to cut him out of his life over a girl? To do it for her would only weaken her and it would only be temporary. But if your son continues to hang out with their daughter, come and go as he pleases without responsibilities, believe me, her parents will change their attitude towards him sooner or later. Only his. We advised to keep one subject he is on top of, as he has always said if he took a gap year he will never go back to study! But he might have to see that "her love" isn't so healthy--or true. His world will no longer revolve around her family's when you open your world up to include her. So the more you attack her, the more he'll defend her. But they don't like my girlfriend we had some issues in the beginning but I don't blame my girlfriend there were alot of outside interference. It takes a humble soul--and love--to be able to offer an apology for any wrongdoings. I greatly appreciate your feedback. my sons girlfriend doesn t like me - Be Falcon That is all. I will be praying for you! Offer your insights without judgment or emotionno threats, tears, or tiradesor you son will close his ears. I will definitely implement the advice herein, and it will definitely bring about positive results. During this time I have tried to be as kind and helpful to my son and his new girlfriend. Send him to a guidance counsellor or psychiatrist if the relationship poses an immediate threat to your son. I haven't said anything cos I don't want to hurt my son and put him in the middle of something that he is not responsible for. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about the things that have transpired through those years.first off, my son never officially introduced me to this woman. The demands are never for us except when his dad needed help lifting things for the house move. THANKS ELIA. I feel like my girlfriend doesn't love me anymore - Reddit He/her is guessing. If she hasn't visited him, that is a clear sign--and should be to your son--about her loyalty. Then she invited him to her house on the Sunday and I said no cos of the boundaries that I had put in place, telling both of them before hand, as I mentioned above. Recently, her family has started coming after her for child support and her mother is entitled to this since she is caring for her kids. ParentalQuestions.com 2021 All rights reserved. I tried to talk to my son several times but he brushed me off. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on June 05, 2012: Why don't they like her? He has allowed her to disrespect me in every sense of the word. We have a 1 year old son together. No, do not encourage it either. We feel so sorry for him as it is obvious at times he feels so pulled from pillar to post. But that's not an option anymore. When You Don't Like Your Son's Girlfriend. Hello, my situation is very hard and I truly feel like my son hates me at this point. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. He saw that her depression, dark attitude, and erratic behavior would not be good for children and that his life would be forever difficult. We made the mistake of letting her live in our home 5 months ago and my home has become so uncomfortable that we have asked her to move out. Although it is disheartening, it also gives me a sense of support - as this subject has been one that has been very difficult to handle for the past 2 years in my house. Not putting her down at all, but expressing that she just wasn't going to be the one to make him happy. Thank you! She asked my husband for money, my son has said if she sees we are helping him out Financial she might eventually come round. "Are you angry with us? Editorial post:My Son Hates His Stepfather. This article is interesting and offers good advice. I felt like I was babysitting a 26 year old child. On occasion when I see her, I am always the one to say hello (I was raised right). He began to see our points, and he broke up with this girl. Now he is in the Montana Youth Challenge Academy for three more months and all he can talk about is getting her to come visit! And instead of providing your opinions, point out the indisputable facts. A son is a son until he takes a wife is an apt saying. I got him home, cleaned him up (she had dragged him down in just a few short months) - he was dirty and stinky! She pretends that she does not see me or ignores me. Hi Doc, my Son is 18 and his girlfriend is the same age. It's important not to judge the girl or he will rush to her defense. Tell him that it was just so upsetting to see your precious son headed towards problems in life that could be avoided. Practical Tips & Advice For Everyday Parenting. Taking Action In Your Sons Unhealthy Relationship. Let other life situations, including their immaturity, test their relationship. 8. Any advice and insight on these situations of life. Her baby was born Dec 2012. However, the reality is that my relationship with my son has changed and I can't really see any improvement as long as he is with this woman. I was in the process of selling my house and relocating us. Needs to argue constantly. He has never been pressured to study anything he does not want to - made his own choices & is supported in his hobbies & passions; which she is not really supporting as they take time from her. She had died her hair red (my son love's red heads and she decided to do this). Why rush?". What d you do in this case ? If you know he has always been respectful, thechange may be because he is trying to breakaway, MY SON HAS BEEN DATING A GIRL FOR SEVERAL MONTHS.SINCE HE HAS BEEN WITH HER HE HAS CHANGED SO MANY WAYS. "The kids really love her." We moved to a different town to be closer to aging parents, and he continued to drive an hour and a half every day to see her (he would go after/before his job). Say, "Mom, no other woman can take your place in my heart--ever." My advice to you is to be non-confrontational about his relationship. He is going to hang on until she or he discover that there is more out there than each other. You may want to introduce an activity that keeps them occupied instead of spending time with the manipulative partner. Ask Amy: I don't like my son's girlfriend - Marin Independent Journal He is smart. No socialization there . That is all he sees. The ages of both your son and is girlfriend makes it really hard to get through. I can't support this relationship any more and he doesn't get it! We expressed that it wasn't that we didn't like this girl as a person and that we understood that everyone is "broken" in some wayand some people are worth fixingand that everyone deserves to be lovedbut this woman needs to fit into his life, his lifestyle, which includes his family. A theme like yours with a few simple tweeks would really make my blog stand out. Then things got even worse. Before you act on any of this, I suggest you speak with a family court representative or attorney to see what your rights, as a grandparent, are. We had given him a car when he left school to help him out, but he had an accident. THIS GIRL IS TRULY A BAD INFLUENCE.SHE CONSTANTLY DRINKS, SHE HAS TWO CHILDREN THAT SHE DOES NOT CARE FOR. Since she returned home with her younger child, she has been working my son who suddenly thinks raising one child is doable and the other child is not coming. I truly believe that this mother and father are wanting them to get married at some pont. My son is my only child and he is a hard working young man and all she is doing is wasting his money and using him to look after her kids that belongs to two different men! She's the one with the closest relationships to all involved. Well actually, our dog was my son's gift from us. He'd call in for a meal occasionally. Unfortunately, your deeply in love son may not yet be in a position to differentiate an. Contact amy.frank@vpetalent.com with your story to apply. Now this woman is expecting us to resolve her issues. Ask The Expert: My Partner's Teenagers Hate Me. What Do I Do? Parenting reaches a whole new level of complications when your precious little boy becomes aware of their sexual feelings. But those first loves are the hardest to get over. So When my niece told me that, I asked him if the girl came to the house.. but he denied it! Please note that I have not informed my girlfriend of this as it will hurt her heart. How to Choose the Right Toddler Girl Outdoor Coat? This way, he'll learn quick that you are not controlling or directing his choices. We spent a week at the beach for spring break just last week and had another girl with us my younger sons girlfriend, Matts girlfriend in a full 7 days never spoke to her once it was obvious she was jealous, I cannot even imagine not speaking a week to someone that I was in the same condo with. Bit over exaggerated but let me give the context; we started dating in early to mid July of 2022 and things were looking great. I didn't critize her when she relayed through my son, how mean it was of me to overlook doing something for her to celebrate her first mother's day. Now he is staying gone and won't have anything to do with me. Do you have a favorite board game to play next time? As parents, there can be clear signs that my sons girlfriend is manipulative. What kind of life is that? Kids, especially teens in their first relationship, may not recognize the signs of a toxic relationship. I still would address my son and let him know that it is only fair that his gf cleans up after herself and perhaps they need to kick in extra money for the extra expenses she creates with groceries, utilities, etc. It honestly sounds as if neither your son or his girlfriend are fit parents. Sons girlfriend doesn't say hello to me or my wife when she - Mumsnet How to Accept Your Son's Girlfriend - WeHaveKids Needy Nellie. Plus, you have been a great financial help to your mother, and she might feel that you will be strapped if you also have to support your girlfriend, too. His driving has changed since he smokes he drives more irrationally now, was a great calm driver till he started smoking. 12 Dating Red Flags to Share with Your Son - Her View From Home 6. I was extremely hurt and said so to my son. Lesson learned! During that time, my son was dating this new woman and she was still pregnant and also directly after the birth of her child. It's a hormone thing in many people. How Many People To Invite To Baby Shower. Needless to say, it infuriated me!! Is there anything you want to tell us? But, Dave, remember one important thing: This woman is not a mere girlfriend. You said you dont like your sons gf because shes childish, woooah! When he said that, then I reacted, I said why?.. What's something fun that you and (your son) have done lately? However, when viewed through your son's eyes, you're disapproving of his relationship with the girl he loves. It seems that the more I took his side or stood up for myself, I was no longer useful to either one. ParentalQuestions.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com and its partnered brands/websites. I think we are all to blame but I only get the blame. She offers something that he wants on a physical, emotional or psychological level. The things she said to me were unacceptable along with the nasty threatening text messages of how I ruined his life now and that I hoped I was happy.

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